Well, it's almost halloween and the time of my first offical patrol. I have planned and prepared and asembled everything I think I may need. The suit/costume/uniform/gimmick is already and finished. I'm mentally prepared to start my career as a crimefighter and helper of the helpless. I'm as physically ready as I can be.
It has taken me just over a hundred days to prepare everything. (In the military it took 100 days of work to prepare for any type of major operation)
I have scraped money together for equipment and what I could'nt afford to buy, I've made. I started gathering intellegence on those I would hunt. And I have learned more about those who I would protect.
I have watched my plan go from just being a masked crimefighter to being a symbol of hope and help. I've raised money for charity and plan on missions to help the homeless. Not part of my original plan but things change.
Perhaps I have grown more than changed. I have to admit that I have been inspired by many of you out there. I hope to also one day be an inspiration to others. I feel confident and strong and beleave in what I am doing and about to do.
I have seen death up close these last few months. I've lost friends, people I know. I've watched members of gangs kill each other with no regard for the world around them. I've seen many die from the evil and sickness of drugs that haunts our culture these days.
Most would say I should feel proud of what I am doing. I should be glad that I am finally going to be able to try and make a difference in this world.
As I sit here tonite I realize that I am neither proud or happy or glad.
I am angry.
I am angry with a world that dosent care about those who have less. A world that dosent care about the untold victems. A world that is more interested in spending money for the olympics than helping those who really need it just to survive. A world where children arm themselves for school and hope to grow up to be criminals.
I see and feel all this and pray to God that I may be able to effect change for the better in some small way. Most of you are the same in this regard. You can't win the war but that dosent stop you from trying.
I know not where this path will lead me. Hopefully to something better for all of us. I don't know where I am going to finish up, but I don't care either. I will have tried.
I do know that I am not alone in walking this difficult road ahead of me. Many of you are already on this same journey. Many more are waiting to start the trip themselves.
It's nice knowing that one is not alone in this.
This is not a game we play. There are no time outs, no rules to follow, no half time show. This is real life. And I know from experience that real life is usally very ugly and brutal.
I know death all too well. I have learned in my life that death takes all when it wants. I have seen death and know that saddly it will take it's toll over time with many of us. it's a sad fact but true.
WE must each do what we can. WE must all do as we are able. No rants. No excuses. No quarter given or taken. The stakes are just too high.
It's time to move on now. To start. To go forth and be a real life superhero for those out there who need us. Play time is over. My work awaits me.
Thank you all for your friendship, your humor, your support. I could not have gotten this far without you all.
No. I am not leaving or signing off.
I just wanted to share some thoughts at this time.
Wed Oct 22, 2008 3:00 am
